{SD-Frank}: "Like taking candy from a baby..."

>But objectively, no girl I know is a wilder, more creative, more enthusiastic fuck than my Amazon dynamo.

{SD-Frank}: "Well, there's that Monica Lewinsky chick...and with all this bragging Ranma apears to be doing, I'm sure he's done her, too..."
[SD-Justy] : "I bet that Ranma and Clinton are pen pals."

>I guess what's most appealing about Shampoo is that her body, in addition to being perfect in every way, seems to be one big erogenous zone. I mean, no matter what part of her I rub, lick, or hump, she has a screaming multiple orgasm.

{SD-Frank}: "Always thought Shampoo was a "screamer"..."
[SD-Justy] : "Definitely!"

>For example, Shampoo's the only one I've ever had or heard of who comes when she's fucked up the ass. When I take a trip to the Outback,

[SD-Justy] : " What? When did we move to Australia?"

> I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that the girl isn't going to get much pleasure out of it, unless I do a bunch of stuff to her tits and pussy with my hands. In fact, it's likely that a girl will find anal sex uncomfortable or downright painful. That's why I would never ask Ucchan to do it that way.

[SD-Justy] : "How sweet... he actually cares for Ukyo."
{SD-Frank}: "How many metaphors for sex can this guy come up with..? O_o"

> That's also why I like to bunghole Nabiki every chance I get (I know, I'm a bastard).

[SD-Justy] : "Ye shall die for that comment!"
{SD-Frank}: "Foul Tempter!!!"

>But Shampoo loves it! She comes every time I do her anally, even if I don't do the bonus manual stuff to her. To Shampoo, there's no difference where I'm touching her. As long as some part of woda airen is rubbing up against her, Shampoo will get off. The girl once came while she was blowing me, for crying out loud. I wasn't even touching her and she wasn't touching herself either. But it only happened that one time, so I assume it was because of whichever secret Chinese potions she brought to the futon that day.

{SD-Frank}: "Yo yo, Shampoo gots da good shit..."
[SD-Justy] : "Ancient Chinese secret!"

>That's another great thing about Shampoo. While her herbal shit and black magic and whatever causes me unending trouble, I'm all for it in the sexual arena. And though Nabiki is a great connection for regular drugs, she's never heard of some of the stuff Shampoo swipes from Obaba's locked cabinet.

{SD-Frank}: "Oh yeah..? You'd be surprised at what goes past our desks in the CoN..^_-"
[SD-Justy] : "The preceeding comment in no way reflects the views of the Church of Nabiki!"

>There was the pineapple-flavored goo she put on her pussy one time. That night, I ate Shampoo from midnight till dawn - stopping only once to smoke some opium with her - and when morning arrived, her cunt wasn't all sore and raw and neither were my lips.

{SD-Frank}: *Tony Tiger mode* "It tastes grrrrrreat!"
[SD-Justy] : "I suddenly have the craving for a tuna sandwhich right now."

> And there was that powder she put in my sake. It must have turned half the fluid in my body to semen, because I came about a dozen times that night. I shot huge loads in her mouth, in both her holes, between her tits, in her hands. Shampoo was soaked from head to toe. I'm surprised she didn't transform.

{SD-Frank}: "If she did, then this would turn into that fic 'Nekophilia' " *shudder*
[SD-Justy] : "I hope she's on the pill."

>You know what else turns me on? When we're doing it, Shampoo starts to forget how to speak Japanese. The more excited she gets, the more Mandarin (and regional dialect) she cries out. And she talks all through sex, praising and encouraging me in her rapid sing-song way, as if she were reciting the Nekohanten menu while she greases my pole.

{SD-Frank}: "Hah! Little do you know that Shampoo is really crying out her _other_ lover's name..." *insert shock music here*

>To my exasperation (and secret delight), Shampoo gets a special kick out of screwing in public places. And when you're talking about two world-class martial artists, "public places" doesn't mean alleys, parked cars, or amusement park rides. We've done it atop a moving monorail, skiing down a slope, and hanging upside down from the observation deck of Tokyo Tower. All in broad daylight.

>And, obviously, Shampoo will do almost anything I can think of and has a knack for inventing stuff I could never conceive. Remind me sometime to tell you about the Trick with the Chopsticks, the Diagonal Doggy Position, or even the dreaded Rear Admiral.

{SD-Frank}: "Shampoo's got a copy of the Kama Sutra around.."
[SD-Justy] : "It was probably an ancient Amazon instruction manual."

>The only escapade Shampoo has ever refused was a tryst with my girl half. Now that's weird, because plenty of far less experimental lovers, like Ukyou, are turned on by the prospect of doing me both ways. Maybe Shampoo feels some residual hatred for girl-Ranma, but more likely she's homophobic. Anyway, the one time I tried to come to bed as a stacked redhead, she snapped her legs shut and ordered me to hit the showers. Go figure.

[SD-Justy] : *Shampoo mode* "Shampoo only want see Little Ranma."
{SD-Frank}: "I'd rather not..O_o"

>I first did Shampoo as part of that harebrained "almost kill girl-Ranma" deal I worked out with her to protect Akane. Even though I was scared shitless that cold water would splash on me from some unexpected source (as it usually does), it was the best lay I had had to that point.

[SD-Justy] : "Too bad it he didn't get splashed with cold water."

>But it was also a costly lay. Because Shampoo hates Akane so much, she insisted that we do it on the roof above Akane's room. Scared that we would wake Akane (just as Kodachi did that time), I tricked Shampoo so that we were actually a few meters away from Akane's room.

[SD-Justy] : "Wow, Ranma you sneaky devil you, feh."
{SD-Frank}: "Whaddaya know, Ranma's got a brain in that head of his.."

>Right above Nabiki's room. Oops.

{SD-Frank}: *sweatdrops* "Ok, scratch that..."

>An expert in clandestine surveillance, Nabiki had her video camera set up and recorded the whole hour-long fuck and suck session with Shampoo. She confronted me with the evidence after Shampoo left for China, which was wise, since Shampoo would have felt no reservations about killing Nabiki.

{SD-Frank & Justy]: "Well, if that happened we wouldn't have any reservations about killing Shampoo...kyaa!"

>I was working out in the dojo when Nabiki approached me and informed me of the new addition to her private video collection. The heartless bitch

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, you! You...you can't call her that! Why I oughta..."
[SD-Justy] : "Nabiki, I salute thee, roast him!"

>told me that it would cost dearly to keep the tape out of public circulation. I pulled out my wallet and emptied its pitiful contents into her hand. She scowled at my measly financial resources and started listing all the services I would have to perform to gain possession of the incriminating video.

{SD-Frank}: "Which was released anyway later under the name.."Pamela and Tommy Lee - the Sex Video.."

>Grimly, I agreed to threaten a bunch of nerds at Furinkan into doing all Nabiki's school work, to shake down some guys who were delinquent on their gambling debts to Nabiki, to pose for some outrageous pictures that she would trade for the contents of the Kuno family vault, etc., etc. "Can I go now?" I moaned.

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, he/she moaned. He's enjoying it."
[SD-Justy] : "I wonder want Nabiki will do to totally get him off."

>Nabiki didn't respond. I had been working out wearing only a pair of shorts, and she was staring at me with a look I've seen lots of times before. I knew what was coming. After watching even a few minutes of that video, Nabiki would have to be gay or dead not to want a sample of what she'd seen.

{SD-Frank}: "Geez, Ranma's ego is gonna burst into the viewing area if we don't pop it soon..."
[SD-Justy] : "I will gladly lance that Bubonic boil of an ego."

>"Ranma-kun," she ordered, "you will come to my room tonight after everyone else is asleep."

>I smiled inwardly. I would have fucked her anyway, eventually. Let her think she was blackmailing me.

{SD-Frank}: "Foul Sorcer- oh, whoops, wrong line...!!"

>It was a little after midnight when I tapped on Nabiki's window. She quietly opened it and backed away. Her manner was surprising to me, I had never seen her so hesitant. The look in her eyes reminded me of what I see in the faces of my opponents when they realize how stupid it had been to challenge me.

[SD-Justy] : "Bow before the ego, lest Ranma let his head crush you."
{SD-Frank}: "Ahhh, I could kick your ass anyday, pig-tailed boy..."

>Though she tried to laugh it off, it was clearly Nabiki's first time. Well, I'd busted plenty of cherries before, but this was the first time I'd performed the service for an older woman. I guess that's only fitting since I lost my virginity to a 10th grader back when I was in junior high.

{SD-Frank}: "If it turns out to be, like, Sasami, I'm leaving..."

>Her parents were out of town, and she invited me over to initiate me in the ways of the flesh. It was OK, although there was a scary moment when her little brother walked in on us. I hid under the covers and she told him to get lost, not realizing the long-term implications of her command. I'm pretty sure that he saw my face, and, though he's repressed the memory, that Ryouga will always hate me for poking his sister. Explains a lot, don't it?

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, manga continuity error! Ryouga doesn't have a sister....that is, unless Ranma did himself as Yoiko..O_o"
[SD-Justy] : "Which is quite possible considering the liberties that this fic is taking."

>Anyway, Nabiki tried to fake a confident and haughty demeanor, but the second I started unbuttoning her blouse I could see her start to tighten up and to tremble slightly. With that inauspicious beginning, the event was a disaster. Nabiki couldn't loosen up no matter how much I worked on her, so it really hurt when I entered her. I was pretty sure that I hated Nabiki and what she was doing, but I couldn't help but feel sorry as she grimaced and winced under me. Neither of us came, we got dressed in silence, and I thought that was the end of that.

[SD-Justy] : "Hah! You blew it, jerk."
{SD-Frank}: "You loser! _I_ could have done better than that...errr...I mean..."
[SD-Justy] : "You leave my goddess out of your sick fantasies!"
{SD-Frank}: "You talking to me? Or him? *jerking thumb at screen* ^_^"

>But Nabiki apparently decided that "doing it right" was a matter of pride. About a week later, she challenged me to do it with her again. I said sure, figuring this time I'd waste no time getting down to business. I planned to give her the old wham-bam-arigato-ma'am and be on my merry way. Little did I know that she had spent the week doing a lot of intensive research and talking to expensive consultants.

[SD-Justy] : "Why do I imagine the scene from DragonHalf were Vina is studying black magic?"
{SD-Frank}: "Well, that's our Nabiki-sama for you..always quick to recover from a bad deal..."

>She took me to a Roppongi love hotel. The night started out with a primo blow job. Before I could ask Nabiki how she'd suddenly developed such a great technique, she was demanding that I go down on her. While I was eating her out, she did this cool back arching and writhing around stuff, reminding me of all the aerobics and yoga she does. She displayed more gymnastic ability when we got down to business, wrapping her legs around me in all sorts of amazing ways. In the end, Nabiki was astride me with her knees off the bed and her head thrown back, supporting most of her weight on her arms, her hands on my knees,

{SD-Frank: "Hey, I didn't quite follow that...sounds like Nabiki had more than two legs or something...o_O Either that, or that's a very _very_ painful position.."
[SD-Justy] : "No No No... Your forgetting the various precepts of Anime Physics."
{SD-Frank}: "That's why I'm an English major, Justy ^_-..."

>when I spurted up like a garden hose inside her. Afterward, we laughed about how much things had improved since the first time.

>Since then, we've knocked boots occasionally, meeting at hotels or taking advantage of the (surprisingly frequent) times when we're alone in the house. A favorite of ours is to do it in the bath. Sometimes I'll bring some white poppers along. When I sense that Nabiki's close to orgasm, I break a capsule under her nose. Man, does she go wild. Between the hot water, the soap, and Nabiki's convulsions, it's like fucking in a washing machine.

[SD-Justy] : "I'm sure that he's got plenty of experience on washing machines."
{SD-Frank}: "Similes to describe sex, too...Ranma sure is creative in this story..."

>Nabiki has gotten really good at sex. She practices alot: I think she's laid a lot of best looking guys at Furinkan, probably blackmailing them the way she first got me. She's adventurous and will go along with most anything I suggest, especially if I get a 'lude in her or some nitrous. I still don't like her very much, but I love her well-toned body and her lusty spirit.

{SD-Frank}: "Gee, I dunno whether to ask Ranma to join the CoN or beat him to a bloody pulp..."
[SD-Justy] : "Yah, well I know what I want to do, and giving him a title aint part of it."

>Nabiki has even taught me a few things, and introduced me to the glories of three-way. One time, just for kicks, she decided to play that first video she made of me and Shampoo. Within minutes, we were locked in furious intercourse while still keeping our eyes glued to the TV ...

{SD-Frank}: "Boy, that's gotta leave a nasty kink in the neck..."

. . . . . .

>[INTERIOR.

{SD-Frank}: "Interior of what, though..? O_o"

>The honeymoon suite of a downtown Tokyo hotel. Ranma, naked, lies diagonally across the red satin sheets of a heart-shaped bed, his head drooping over the side. Nabiki is mounted atop him, her knees at his sides, her hands on his shoulders as she pumps slowly back and forth. She wears a lacy white bustiere with matching stockings. Ranma's holds Nabiki's hips and occasionally thrusts upwards in response to her continuous motions.

[SD-Justy]: "Hmm... do they have Holiday Inns in Japan.?"
{SD-Frank}: "Only occasionally? You weakling, you should be able to keep up with her..."

> His hands move across her body, tracing the lace patterns of her lingerie. Nabiki occasionally looks up from their lovemaking to watch the TV. A tape plays in the VCR, showing Ranma and Shampoo coupling on the roof of the Tendo home.

{SD-Frank}: *bad English accent* "And here, we see the wild pigtailed homo sapiens and the cute violent Amazonius femalus, engaging in that wonderful act which we can't really describe, but just get off o- I mean, appreciate in all it's glory..."

>Nabiki stares in awe as, on TV, Shampoo assumes a position that demonstrates her great athleticism and creativity: Ranma is standing; Shampoo faces away from him and suspends herself in the air, her legs wrapped around his hips. With amazing balance and strength, Shampoo leans away from his body, flexing her powerful legs to move up and down on Ranma's penis. Her hands are guiding Ranma's over her breasts.]

[SD-Justy] : "Ranma should change his name to Dirk Diggler."
{SD-Frank}: "Yep, isn't that the Moth Catches the Butterfly position or something...?"

>Nabiki (a little detached from the sex as she watches TV): She's really something, isn't she?

[SD-Justy] : "Well I would say that you're boring her with your "occasional" thrusts."

>Ranma (after moving his head back to watch the TV upside down): Yeah, best I've ever had.

>Nabiki (looks down at Ranma and feigns surprise): Really? Well, I guess I'm runner up then?

{SD-Frank}: "If he says yes, I'll probably maim him later on..."

>Ranma (smiling, eyes looking to the side, as if remembering): Well ... there WAS this girl in Nanking ... (Nabiki snorts and begins to accelerate her motion. Ranma's hands slide up Nabiki's frame and caress her breasts as they sway out the top of the bustiere.) ... and Kurumi's pretty spectacular, excellent muscle control down there ... (Nabiki shuts him up, bending down to put her tongue in his mouth. After a long kiss, she comes up for air.) ... But you're definitely in the Top Ten!

{SD-Frank}: "Yeah. She's at the top...literally..."
[SD-Justy] : "Wouldn't it be great if Nabiki was really an alien. Her nether regions could sprout fangs and chew Little Ranma right off?"
{SD-Frank}: "Yes! Species!"

>Nabiki: TEN!? (Her eyes narrow as she grins slyly.) I don't think the judges have been paying attention.

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, I'm paying attention, doesn't that count..?"

> (She straightens up, still riding Ranma, and reaches to the right to grab a massager that is lying on the bed, then straps the compact machine to the back of her right hand and activates it. She puts the vibrating hand behind her back and reaches down toward where their bodies meet. Ranma's reaction is immediate, and his head jerks back from the sensation.)

>Ranma: AHH! God! That's ... uh! ... incredible!

[SD-Justy] : "You've got to be kidding me! Ranma hasn't used a vibrator before."
{SD-Frank}: "Probably a lot better than that sucking toes thing with Kodachi in that last SDGP story...ick..."

>Nabiki (breathily, her orgasm building): You like? I just made that up! (She sighs heavily and continues doing whatever it is with her vibrating hand and moves her hips in a circular pattern, grinding her pubis against him for a few moments)

>Ranma (grimacing, eyes shut): Oh ... Nabiki ... I can't hold back!

>Nabiki (in an urgent whimper): Then don't!

>[Nabiki collapses forward, her hands landing on either side of Ranma's head. She kisses him as she grabs handfuls of the bed sheet. He grasps her buttocks, pulling him to her tightly and thrusting in earnest. They both moan loudly into their kiss as they climax and the scene fades to ...

[SD-Justy] : *feigning tears* "That was so beautiful."
{SD-Frank}: "There was no mention of the word 'throbbing'. Minus 10 points."

>INTERIOR. Same room. Her lingerie shed, Nabiki is on the bed, lying on her stomach, her chin propped up on her hands, still watching the Ranma-Shampoo tape. Ranma emerges from the bathroom, wearing a grey hotel robe and sniffling a little.]

[SD-Justy] : "I told you Ranma, a shower is a lot better than towels."
{SD-Frank}: "Ranma=Hugh Hefner.."

>Ranma (sitting on the edge of the bed next to Nabiki): You're right. It's really fine stuff. Where'd you get it?

>Nabiki: Same guy. But he got to pick this batch out himself. He was in South America on related business ...

[SD-Justy] : "He wouldn't happen to live in Brazil, a member of the OLA?"

>Ranma: Well, lucky us. (They watch the video silently for a moment, their heads bobbing a little as the cocaine takes effect. On the TV, Ranma begins performing oral sex on Shampoo.)

[SD-Justy] : *Nostradamus mode* "The mistress aview from afar. Amazons performing rituals. The head swells in the pride of the East. Venus, Mars and Jupiter soon to be in climax!"
{SD-Frank}: "Ick, you mean Ranma's gonna do the Sailor Senshi too? O_o"

>Nabiki: (smacks her lips): Mmmm ... I could go for a taste of that.

{SD-Frank}: "What, this Pepsi in my hand? Nahhh, you don't want it, it's flat..." *throws it away*
[SD-Justy] : "Don't lie, you backwashed!"
{SD-Frank} :"Shhh..I wouldn't give it to our dear Nabiki-sama like that..^_-"

>Ranma (brightly): Really? I didn't think you were interested in girls. Shall I get some cold water?

>Nabiki (thinks for a moment): Actually, I'm not so much interested in girls as I am in you AND a girl.

>[Ranma stares straight ahead dumbly as he tries to understand what Nabiki is saying. Nabiki looks at him, amused at Ranma's incomprehension.

{SD-Frank}: "You know, I still can't decide whether Ranma's really smart in this or if he's still a dumb idiot..."

> Her hand, which has drifted to his lap, reaches inside his robe and begins to caress.]

>Ranma (suddenly realizing): Oh, I get it!

{SD-Frank}: "Oy.. -_-"
[SD-Justy] : "Its refreshing to see that the Gift of Reason has been ignored by Ranma."

>Nabiki (still stroking him): That's my boy! What do you say we give Shampoo a call, hmm?

>Ranma: Oh, she wouldn't be interested. Shampoo won't even do it with my girl form; she'd freak if I tried to bring you along.

>Nabiki (scooting closer to put her head in his lap): Leave it to me. I can persuade her to do whatever we want. (She takes his erection into her mouth.)

To A Real Man, SDGP version, pt. 3
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